Due to this horrendous streak
I’m in confession every week
Trying hard not to seethe and fume
With my children in the room
My tongue is almost bitten through
Before me things I can’t construe
That Carroll lad stupidly falling
Cringe worthy and duly appalling
I’ve a simpler solution to stalling
Put the ball in the net before sprawling
Who were Pardews lot trying to fool?
Is the keeper Dan Simpson or Krul?
Cissés second would not be denied
As he stood three or four yards offside
With Linesman inactive, the crime
Though his eyesight improved over time
Time now to regroup and retrench
“King” Kenny, he emptied the bench
That could backfire I said
Pepe using and losing the head
Poor Perch he was shot by a sniper
As Pepe bit hard like a viper
Still wounded escaped second yellow
Hauling Suarez down, dastardly fellow
Always going to be lambs to the slaughter
When no one on the team could pass water
There’s so much to improve and discuss
Played like lads introduced on the bus
It’s now become such a drag
The search for the on-i-on bag
There’s only one fix to promote
A banquet of nice curried goat
Another pitiful display at Newcastle on Palm Sunday, I don't know what was harder to endure, the longest mass of the year with two restless children or 90 minutes of sheer hell from the Loadsamoney Arena.
Alan Pardew let the cat out of the bag afterwards by announcing that the secret of Papiss Cissés success is a diet of curried goat.
Liverpool were unlucky with key decisions that went against them but when it comes to the crunch they are just not good enough.